In this season of lent, we Catholics or Christians devote ourselves in the sanctity penance, repentance, fasting and abstinence. And this Holy Wednesday, me and my friends endeavor the Way of the Cross by Church Simplified. It is a Walk-way Reflections for the Stations of the Cross at BGC. A modern technique of letting us go through the trials of Jesus and contemplate His sufferings to our own lives.
I have a lot of fear. Losing my family is one. And there's one song that could best describe my other fear. Just hear out 'Tumatakbo', sometimes I really feel the lyrics. But as long as there are people who loves me, I am gratified.
Station Two: The Betrayal
The act here is to take a piece of red cloth. There were several people who lost my trust. Betrayed me in a way that I know, they have their reasons too. I already forgave them although they never asked. It's just that I feel bad that things ain't the same again. With my so-called friends --- gone now. I still wish them all well and if I could turn back time, I still want them to be my friends, and I hope for keeps.
I have been judged by people whom I barely know. They never knew what I have been through, they never experienced to be me. And I can't blame them, it is human nature. But the most depressing part of it is losing the people who swore to accept me as me. Who in the end left me because of too much expectations. Who wants me to be some other person and forgetting the real me. Nobody is perfect. But we can seek and make continuous improvements beyond our imperfections. It's sad that a lot of people see what only their eyes want to see and hear only what they want to hear.
Station Four: The Verdict
I remember the outreach program by WE Phils in Rizal. It's so heartwarming to see the smiles of people who are contented and pleased with simple gestures. I hope to join more activities like that in the future. And if given a chance, I want to organize an outreach program like that. Feeding the hungry street children or sending off school supplies in Bakun.
I maybe emotionally and mentally unstable at times. But I offer this to my two good friends who are going through such a dilemma that I don't want to experience. One, is trying to get hold of her family which is now in the verge of tearing apart. While the other one, is holding himself together to be strong. His dad is terribly ill and he have to be tough and resilient for his mom and sister. I hope and pray that they can keep their faith and surpass these trials. That one day they will wake up from this nightmare and accept the fate, whatever it may be.
Station Six: The Curse
We are souls running in this fast paced life trying to have our own place in this world. And mother earth is counting on us to keep everything in harmony. We may all have our fair share to keep our world balanced and order.
Station Seven: The Cross
We tried to carry the cross and while doing it, I imagined what Jesus went through just to save us from our sins. I am no saint nor a good person, daughter, sister or friend. I have my downside. I feel ashamed whenever I commit mistakes. This cross represents my sins, resentments, frustrations or guilt . Heavy to carry, hard to bear.
Station Eight: Two Simons
There is someone dear to me whom I consider a Simon in my life. He was there when I needed someone to offload my baggage. Ready to hear my worries and held me up when I was down. Now, it is my time to be Simon to him. In this trying time for his family, all I can do is to pray for them to surpass this trial. Defy the negatives and accept what the future holds. As what he always tell me 'This too shall pass'. To my Simon, everything will be alright, just have faith. I also took a prayer from the bowl of prayers and pray for that someone who wrote it. I pray to God that He may grant SH's (the owner of the prayer) to pass the UPCAT.
Station Nine: The Crucifixion
Remember the red cloth that we took from the second station? The act here is to write our sins in the cloth and nail it on the cross. If only this hammering will take away all my sins, then I am free.
Station Ten: The Mother
My family is one of the very best people that I have. I may not tell them how important they are to me, I think I have shown them how much I care. I know I am a 'stage' sister, nagger as what they say and been so over protective. But I want what's best for my family. And I will do everything to give the life that I want for them.
I am a person who easily trusts. But there were few people who made their promises but never kept it. Promises are made to be broken as they say. But I believe in Jesus. People may break me, but never He will.
Station Twelve: The Darkness
I once asked and questioned God why do I have to experience pain. He let me go through life's ordeals several times. But I am glad, He never let go of my hand. That in times I felt I'm in darkness, He never lets me feel alone.
Station Thirteen: The Cloth
As there are a lot of good people who touched my life in the simplest way. I cannot write all their names in that piece of paper. But in my heart, I offer a prayer for all of them - everyday.
Station Fourteen: The Invitation
No matter how sad or struggle my life can be, I believe that something good will happen for me. I keep my faith in Him and I know that He is with me trudging the crossroads of my life.